Thursday, July 1, 2010
Words
Thursday, June 17, 2010
A Fairytale Beginning...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The Challenge of Change
Saturday, January 30, 2010
A Little Bit Soggy
Kansas City got a little snow yesterday, but that wasn't enough to deter the first meeting of the Kansas City Happiness Project! I wore my newly knit leg warmers, which makes me EXTREMELY happy, but they got a little soggy tromping through the melting snow. The group was small but lively--we had a great space to meet, good conversation, and some delicious food! Eddie Delahunt at Cafe & was great, and I think he appreciated our desire to be happier--he's a pretty happy guy himself, so the whole vibe worked really well.
Thanks to those of you that came today, and I hope you'll come back again! If you couldn't make it today, know that it was fun and comfortable, and I hope you'll consider attending our next meeting, which will be on February 27th, same location (Eddie Delahunt's Cafe & at 45th and Bell). Now, on to working on my happiness resolutions...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Both Sides of the Coin
Friday, January 22, 2010
To Happiness (and Beyond)!
2010!
Hi, faithful readers (all three of you)!
It's been a while, I know. It's almost the end of January. 2010. Ten years since Y2K (for which I was in England, without my own personal computer, oblivious to the fright the world was feeling at the impending doom of the switch to a four-digit year in the date).
For the first half of this year, I'll be 30. Three decades old. I've said it before, in person, on Facebook, and probably even on this blog, though I'm too lazy to go back and check that fact: this has turned out to be one of the most amazing years of my life on this planet, and I'm only halfway to 31. I was afraid at first, but for those of you on the cusp of a life-changing number behind your name (and in the words of some of my dearest old friends): IT GETS BETTER.
I'm not much of one for New Year's resolutions. I'll tell you why--I've realized that New Year's resolutions as I learned to make them are too broad for me to succeed. You might be thinking that I should just narrow my scope, but I've decided that making resolutions for the sake of the first day of the year just doesn't work for me. I always fail at keeping them, and then I just feel bad about myself. Isn't that the opposite of the reason we make these resolutions? We mean for them to better us, and for some reason, they don't work for me. So I'm not making any.
I will say, however, that the advent of a new year inspires me. Maybe this is the feeling that motivates some of you to create and keep your resolutions at the beginning of the year. I can't say exactly what it is--the change in the date, maybe, or the fact that the days are getting longer and the sun is out for a few more minutes each day. Maybe it's just the conclusion to the holiday season and the dig-in attitude of preparing for a whole 12 months of something different.
Whatever it is, I'm motivated. To get up earlier, to pursue passions I've put on the shelf. To try something new. I won't say here that my resolution is to write more on this blog--maybe I will and maybe I won't. Tonight I just feel like this is the thing to do.
I have definitely posted before on this blog about The Happiness Project and the new adoration I've found for an author I was introduced to on a whim, Gretchen Rubin. My friend G shared the Happiness Project blog with me last year, and since that first post I read I couldn't get enough. This past week I had the opportunity to meet Gretchen in person when she visited Kansas City on the book tour for her new book, created as a result of a year of studying how to be happier.
After Gretchen spoke to a packed room at the Plaza library, she took a few questions. I couldn't NOT take the opportunity to speak with her some more, so I got up to ask a question. I've joked with friends and family that I'm a little bit obsessed about Gretchen and her project, and I probably speak about it sometimes like a deranged fan (or someone employed by her publicist to talk about the blog and the book). I have just been so moved by what I've read, and by Gretchen herself that I want to share it with everyone I know--I suppose I'm like that about other books I read, or new music I hear, or a story I've just listened to on NPR. I've been incredibly inspired by her thoughts and her project.
What I asked about is whether she's changed anyone's mind about happiness, and she shared an anecdote with me. One person she spoke with told her that he didn't "believe in happiness." I have encountered that point of view myself--people think it's a silly idea to spend time looking for happiness. What Gretchen asked this critic was "do you think you could be happier than you are now?" He had to concede.
I've decided that EVERYONE could be happier, no matter how happy you feel you are now, so I'm starting my own Happiness Project. I've invited everyone I know to join me, whether you can be present or not--I've started a Facebook group to keep you updated on what I'm personally working on for the month, and I hope you'll take a minute to think about it yourself. It would definitely make me happier if you did.
Happy New Year! My hope for this year is more happiness, more growth, and more love. For me AND for you.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The Dark Passenger
I've been watching a lot of television lately. A LOT. Way more than is good for a person—I need to get out of the house more and exercise, and see people in real life. As a child I was limited to one hour of television per day, and so I had to choose so carefully that watching an hour of television meant something special. Now I can sit and stare for hours at the television, and even if there isn't really anything on I can still sit there for hours and hours, rotting my brain.
My current favorite show is Showtime's Dexter. If you haven't watched it, you should—that is, if you like detective-type stories with a twist (and if you like irrationally attractive lead characters). Dexter is a serial killer, but he works for the Miami Metro Police Department. He also only kills bad guys. He's quite lovable, as serial killers go.
I've just finished watching the second season, watching episodes "on demand" when I please (which is pretty much as many hours as I have at home in a day). Dexter has been discovering the story of his childhood, and learning what makes him what he is. He talks a lot about what he calls "the dark passenger," something that lives in his mind or his soul and drives him to do what he does. In an episode I watched recently, he spoke about his passenger like an addiction:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toYzUtZdYUk
Sometimes I recognize a kind of darkness in myself—not in a serial killer way, or a heroin addict sort of way, but kind of a cloud over my consciousness. I think there are probably lots of people in the world that feel this way from time to time—some more than others. Mine's kind of a melancholy…I feel like listening to my sad songs, and hope for rainy days, and kind of wallow in it a little bit.
Now, before my mom freaks out (she reads my blog sometimes and gets nervous—hi mom!), you should all know that I'm not going off the deep end—I think most people avoid talking about feeling this way, and we shouldn't. I think we all have dark days, even if they're just a little rainy. Some people have to fight it more than others, but don't we all go through bouts of gloom now and then? Why is it so scary to talk about?
Sometimes I like to wallow in it a little bit—on rainy days, or cold, dreary afternoons, or even beautifully clear days when autumn seems just around in the corner. It makes me feel creative, nostalgic, even human. Because music means so much to me, I usually have certain songs I go to when I'm feeling a little dark, and this week I decided to create a sad songs play list. I've mentioned this before here, and talked about songs that speak to me, but I spent some time this week talking about sad songs—with friends and coworkers—and started to flesh out my list.
I think my definition of sad songs is different than some people's—and I can't even really put my definition into words very easily. It's not just sad lyrics (though that helps). It's also not just emotive music (but that helps, too). It's a general overall feeling I get while listening. I'm sure some of the songs are sad for me because they remind me of someone else, or some other time, and maybe that's why some people's suggestions haven't seemed sad to me at all—they remind that person of a person or time when they felt sad, and that's why the song has so much meaning.
I'd love to hear your sad song suggestions—and the list is getting a little long to publish here, but let me know if you'd like a copy of it. And here's looking to sunnier days ahead.