Never Settle

When I was sophomore in college, a good friend of mine gave me an amazing piece of advice--one that I haven't followed as well as I would have liked. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, so I've decided I need to add it as one of my happiness commandments.

Never settle.

What my friend said to me was this: "Kate, promise me, if you are ever unhappy, at any point in your life, promise me, promise, that you'll do anything in your power to change your situation."

I wonder a lot about the people around me--do I see the world differently than other people, or are we all just afraid to really talk about what we think and feel? Sometimes I get obsessed about this feeling that there just has to be something more to life, and I wonder what's wrong with me that I can't just accept how things are and move along with the current.

I don't mean to say that people who are completely satisfied with their lives as they are today are missing anything; on the contrary, I wonder what is missing in me that I can't be satisfied with my life as it is right now. My job is stressful, and not the most fulfilling thing--I always imagined myself doing something much more creative and free-thinking. I don't feel like I take enough time to do the things I love (sometimes because of my job, but sometimes because of the number of things I have to do at home, or pure laziness). There never seem to be enough hours in the day or days in the week (well, really enough days in the weekEND).

I tried to express these feelings to someone yesterday at lunch, and I couldn't put it into words. That elusive "more" always seems to be floating just out of my view, and when I turn my head, it's gone.

As I think more and more about this new commandment, I think that it isn't so bad to feel the need to avoid settling for something--whether it is in a job, in my personal hobbies, or in my relationships with friends and family. If I can avoid settling for important things, I know I'll feel happier.

To that end, I think I have to be less worried about the approval of others (see yesterday's post for more information about that issue). Keeping myself from settling into something that isn't right for me might take actions that won't be popular. THAT is the scariest part.