What am I waiting for?

When I'm with my friends and family, and doing things I enjoy, life seems glorious. On the flip side, though, when I'm in "down time" mode, I feel like I'm just waiting for the next thing all the time. Having typed this out on the screen I can see what my problem is…I'm not holding to one of my happiness commandments: Number 7: Be content, not complacent.

I definitely have a problem finding a balance between those two things. If I'm not trying hard enough to find contentment, I get complacent and feel stuck in a rut. If I try too hard, I over-do, and then I never settle in and find that contented place.

Mostly over the past several years, I've allowed myself to be complacent…settling for whatever happened along, rather than manifesting my own destiny. Now I've successfully gotten myself out of that place, where I was stagnant and bored, but I've gone too far the other direction, and I'm not stopping to feel the joy in each moment.

I can feel myself doing this in all sorts of places in my life—from little things like being so impatient for the next episode of a t.v. show or a podcast I like that I don't enjoy the one I'm listening to or watching at the moment to bigger things like letting each day go by worrying about the next day. I had a great time in New Orleans several weeks ago, but it definitely wasn't like my previous trips with my lovely friend Aimee, where I let my intuition and my fancy guide me around Europe.

In France, Aimee and I sat for hours in cafés smoking cigarettes and drinking French coffees, feeling sophisticated and young all at the same time. We ate cans of tuna and peaches on the steps of Sacre Coeur Basilica, fighting off pigeons and reveling in the view of Paris from high on the hill. We ate dinner in an Italian restaurant even though we were in France, because we felt like it. Even stepping in dog crap on the sidewalk near the Louvre was hilarious.

I know I'm older and definitely more jaded, or something, than I was then, but I need to remember how it felt to really just be content in each moment as it happened on that trip, so that maybe I can bring it back to my daily life. Admittedly, traveling to work at the edge of a mid-Western town day in and day out, worrying about bills and housework and such things isn't as glamorous as traipsing around Paris with one of my best friends, but that doesn't mean there aren't moments every day that I shouldn't be reveling in.

How do you find that balance between the things that make up daily life and not letting them get you down and complacent or too hyped up you can't settle down and enjoy the moment?