Musings on a Teacher and Friend

In an earlier post, I mentioned my photography class at William Jewell College. My teacher was this amazing woman, and one of the reasons I loved the class and took a second semester of photography was that she taught me so much—not only about photography, but about life in general.

We had a lot in common—we were both from conservative Midwestern households, where our parents had been married for years and years, and we were raised in the church (both of us Methodist, I do believe). Both of us had gotten a little wild in college, and one of the first things I shared with the class was my tattoo—I did a self-portrait of my back, focusing mostly on the tattoo, because it had become something that defined me in multiple ways. My mother HATED that tattoo (and probably still does), and we had a bit of a falling out over it as I entered my second year of college.

My photography teacher assigned us a project over Thanksgiving break that fall—kind of a documentary-style photo essay, and I was having a hard time coming up with a subject. My teacher sat down with me and said, “What about doing your essay on your mom?” She said she understood the dynamic we had at the time, and thought it would make for an interesting story—and she was right. Those photos were fascinating to take—I followed my mom to work, to family gatherings, and around the house, and it gave me an interesting perspective on her, even though we were sometimes at odds. It allowed me to see her from a less emotional angle, and to consider her point of view a little more—my teacher’s suggestion was an excellent idea.

Later on that year, as I tried to decide whether travelling overseas for school was something I wanted to do, and where I should go, and what I should study, I talked to my photography teacher about her experience studying overseas, and I decided to go where she went—to Oxford, England—and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I babysat for my teacher’s kids—two gorgeous girls that were anything but a job! The girls loved to play games they made up, and we would spend hours running around the house playing variations of tag—some blindfolded, some with hilarious rules. We watched the Disney channel, made cookies, and had to shut up the chickens in the chicken coop in the evening—something I had NEVER done before I met them. They would remind me when it was getting close to bed time, and they would run upstairs and change into pajamas and brush their teeth and ask me to tell them stories about myself as a kid before they went to sleep. It was the most fun babysitting job I’ve ever had.

My photography teacher eventually quit teaching at William Jewell, and got THE BEST JOB EVER—restaurant critic for the Kansas City Star. When I would come over to babysit (at this point, as a young adult with a regular job), she would insist on paying me, and when I said no to money, she would pay me in cookbooks, or bottles of wine, or fabulous desserts from the restaurants she reviewed. She took me to my very first meal of sushi, and ordered one of everything on the menu at Kona Grill. She took me to other restaurants, and asked my opinion of the meals, and insisted that everyone order something different so we could taste each other’s dishes. Once I saw her out to eat at a fancy restaurant, and she sent over appetizers and drinks to our whole table.

It has been awhile since I spoke to my teacher, turned friend and inspiration. Lauren Chapin passed away this week, and I’m sorry that I hadn’t seen her or spoken to her in so long. I’m devastated for her beautiful girls, now 16 and 14, and for her husband, who is as passionate about music as Lauren was about food. I envied their family—their freedom to learn and to love and to try things that other people might find strange (do you know very many elementary school children who like Indian food and tzatziki?). I wanted to BE part of their family, and spending Friday and Saturday evenings at their house was like a vacation to an imaginary, fabulous life. One of the best parts was waiting for Lauren to get home after her dinner, so that I could hear about the food, and the people, and tell her things I talked to her girls about while she was out to eat.

Lauren was joyous, and an amazing listener, and a great friend. She helped me to learn who I was, and I still draw inspiration from the way she lived her life. I owe her a thanks that I probably never shared—I hope she knew how much she meant to me. Rest in peace, Lauren.